Well y'all wanted a man, so I got one for ya! Professor Charles Francis
Xavier, founder of the X-men and beefcake deluxe! (6 feet tall and 190
pounds... completely BALD*.)
I had a very hard time picking a man, one man, just ONE, to be Man of the
Month here. (Just for the record, I was gonna write up a deal about my
husband Phil, but then I realized I'd have to fend off his stalkers cause
he's such A DREAM. So I picked the next best.**)
Charles Xavier, better known as Professor X, is the most bad-ass telepath
on Earth -- he can read the mind of any man, woman or animal and
communicate
his
thoughts with them. Like, if he wanted you to know he wanted to get it
on,
he would just THINK it! rrrowl!!! ***
The man's been around. Like for instance Egypt, where he met Storm and
helped her defeat the Shadow King in a telepathic battle. And Israel,
right
after he left
there the Professor fought a villian named Lucifer who crippled his legs.
But that was nothing, Professor X still had it going on- while recovering
from that fight, in a hospital in India, Charles had a nurse named
Amelia
Voght fall in love with him, and she gave him a lil incentive to get
better. (wink! wink!) Hell, that's not all he's been around! The
Professor
even went to another planet called Shi'ar and rendezvoused with a royal
there named Lilandra.
Charles Xavier got a new body once through a clone made for him by a
Starjammer Doc named Sikorsky. But later, during another fight with the
Shadow King, the Professor got his spine snapped, so he's stuck in the
chair again.****
The man is so powerful, and at the same time so empathic and kind, that
he
turned himself in to the Government for fear of accidentally hurting
someone. Of course, they jumped all over that, ended up putting him in
prison and everything. Typical. "Operation: Zero Tolerance" kept Charles
imprisoned till he got himself escaped. Next thing we know he's got a
group
of Skrull mutant orphan kids, and looking for a safe homeworld for them.
Eventually Charles will train the kids to be the interplanetary X-men of
the future.
This man...is indestuctible. Been beat up, broken down and locked up, and
STILL kicks ass! The fact of his being wheelchair-bound, unattainable and
imaginary has nothing to do with it. (Except for maybe that it makes him
more attractive.) I don't see how anyone could resist Charles Xavier.
He's
smart, he's strong, he's sensitive... he always knows what you really
mean
when you blurt out stupid shit in a fight.
Oh, and you never have to say, "a little to the left".*****
* surely 'shaved'? Ed.
** probably a good idea as we would have demanded nude photos of Phil to
see his credentials before allowing JJ to proceed. Ed.
*** actually I can imagine this being rather distracting. I mean, suppose
you were trying to do a yoga class/the washing/manoeuvre your car into a
tight parking space at the time. Ed.
**** To break your spine once is a misfortune. To break it twice can only
be considered carelessness (pace Oscar Wilde). Ed (pedantically).
****** Hmmn... OK, I take back my anti-telepathic prejudices! What a
shame
more guys don't share his gifts...
