Because no one suffers for love better than this brooding Brit...

You know it hurts so good.... And so does poor Colin Firth -- this British actor is continually cast in roles where he must either 1) struggle against his own class prejudices to claim his true love, 2) pine for a lost love who foolishly overlooks him, 3) lose his wife or lover to another man, or 4) suffer all three indignities in the same damn movie. But that's because no one expresses the agony of unrequited love better than Colin Firth. He has it all: the dark, tear-pooled eyes; the strong jaw that barely flinches when the object of his affection flings a tart retort at him; the thick, wavy hair just right for running his hands through in an agony of torture; and a desperate longing that seems to descend over the still planes of his face at will.

In short, Colin Firth is one smouldering, brooding hunk of burning love just waiting to burst into flame. For those of us who appreciate intensity, he is the man.

Besides, all that sorrow in one face... it just makes you want to work very hard to inspire a smile to bloom across it at last. Anybody who has ever seen Pride and Prejudice knows what I mean: as Mr. Darcy, Colin Firth struggled between self-importance and love for a good ten to twelve hours, torture etched across his handsome features - only to finally break into a huge smile in the very last frame of the film when he finally finds true happiness. It's the most-watched final frame in mini-series history, guaranteed.

What makes this attitude so attractive? There is no better incentive to win a man over than the opportunity to pierce the facade and break his will. It's a form of victory, this subduing a man to our charms: to make him kneel emotionally before us, his once-proud nature reduced by love until he is nothing more than a minion in your power. Just think of the possibilities. And the outfits you could wear...

So bring that boy on. And kindly cast him unclothed in a few flicks, please. There are millions of women out there who would love to rip his frilly shirts to shreds, throw him over his prancing stallion and take him out to the gardener's cottage for a sun-filled afternoon of illicit class-crossed passion. After we (as in me and Lise McClendon) get through with him first, of course.

Filmography:

1. The Importance of Being Earnest (2002) .... Jack Worthing
   
2. Conspiracy (2001) (TV) .... Dr. Wilhelm Stuckart
   
3. Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) .... Mark Darcy
   
4. Londinium (2000) .... Allen Portland
   
5. Relative Values (2000) .... Peter
   
6. Donovan Quick (1999) (TV) .... Donovan Quick
   
7. Turn of the Screw, The (1999) (TV) .... The Master
   
8. Blackadder Back and Forth (1999) .... William Shakespeare
   
9. My Life So Far (1999) .... Edward
   
10. Secret Laughter of Women, The (1998) .... Matthew Field
    
11. Shakespeare in Love (1998) .... Lord Wessex
12. Thousand Acres, A (1997) .... Jess Clark
    
13. Fever Pitch (1997) .... Paul Ashworth
    
14. "Nostromo" (1996) (TV) .... Charles Gould
    
15. English Patient, The (1996) .... Geoffrey Clifton
    
16. "Pride and Prejudice" (1995) (TV) .... Mr. Darcy
    
17. Widowing of Mrs. Holroyd, The (1995) (TV) .... Charles Holroyd
    
18. Circle of Friends (1995) .... Simon Westward
    
19. Deep Blue Sea, The (1994)(TV) .... Freddie Page
    
20. Master of the Moor (1994) (TV) .... Stephen Whalby
    
21. Playmaker (1994) .... Ross Talbert/Michael Condren
    
22. Hour of the Pig, The (1993) .... Richard Courtois
    
23. Hostages (1993) (TV) .... John McCarthy
    
24. Femme Fatale (1991) .... Joseph Prince
    
25. Out of the Blue (1991/I) .... Alan
    
26. Tumbledown (1989) (TV) .... Robert Lawrence
    
27. Valmont (1989) .... Valmont
    
28. Wings of Fame (1989) .... Brian Smith
    
29. Apartment Zero (1988) .... Adrian LeDuc
    
30. Month in the Country, A (1987) .... Tom Birkin
31. Tales from the Hollywood Hills (1987) (TV) .... Rene Wilcox
    
32. Secret Garden, The (1987) (TV) .... Adult Colin Craven
    
33. "Lost Empires" (1986) (TV) .... Richard Herncastle
    
34. 1919 (1985) .... Young Alexander
    
35. Dutch Girls (1985) .... Neil Truelove
    
36. Another Country (1984) .... Tommy Judd
    
37. Camille (1984) (TV) .... Armand Duval