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To Die For |
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Katy Munger's Casey Jones is a brick house bottled blonde who doesn't suffer fools lightly — and who would rather kick some ass than kiss it. Born in a dirt poor Florida shack, she's left behind a hard scrabble upbringing and a stint in a Jacksonville jail to start a new life in Raleigh, North Carolina.
Casey is a pro through and through when it comes to P.I. work: she's as tenacious as a pitbull on a terrier once she takes on an assignment. Gun fights, car chases and a fist fight or two are all part of the job for Casey. She's big and she's quite frequently bad — with about as many men as any woman could handle. But she makes no apologies for any of her appetites and lives each day to the fullest.
Above is paper doll artist JJ Buch's stylized vision of what Casey Jones looks like. Below are some of Casey's more notorious outfits. We're now taking pre-orders in the All Night Mall. Sorry, downloadable doll option is not yet available. All profits go to the artist.
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Undercover Republican "My wardrobe for the evening was hopeless. Everything was either too low cut, too tight, too short, or too transparent for a fraternity boy shindig. I'd be fighting off drunken frat boys like a dog in heat intent on preserving her honor from the neighborhood studs. I finally settled on a sleeveless white dress with a low scoop neckline that almost, but not quite, hit my belly button. It was a little tight on top and I made a note to cut down on the upper body weight machines because I was starting to look like a fire hydrant.... I had a remnant of red satin I'd been considering for curtains From Legwork. |
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The "Big Butt" Dress
"...I ended up with a strapless evening gown colored a deep jade that was made out of some sort of fabric that gave you plenty of shine but no wrinkle. The thing cut straight to the floor making me look taller than I was. And, of course, strong like a bull. Unfortunately, it had been "updated for the nineties" via two big bunches of fabric atop each hip. This was fun and chic? It looked like giant cabbages were sprouting from my hips. "No way,' I announced firmly after a quick peek in the mirror. I grabbed the maid's scissors and pulled one of the offending goiters as far out as it would go. It was anchored at the base with heavy-duty thread but I hacked away until it detached. I repeated the process on the other side while Mariela watched, eyes wide. When I was done, I had a dress instead of an agricultural exhibit. "Look good now," Mariela told me as she made a few adjustments in the waist. "Dress very good for —" "I know," I interrupted. "Very good for big butt." From Money To Burn. |
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All-Purpose Cat Burglar Outfit What does an All-American girl wear when breaking and entering? Casey opts
for stretch black pants that can easily accommodate PMS swelling plus an
extra doughnut or two. She tops this with a light tee that can be worn under
a black sweatshirt without roasting her like a pig. |