Bold, irreverent, saucy and sassy Aries roils our juices for most of April. As the first sign of the western zodiac, Aries cajoles Initiation (smack the lips while amidst beginnings) and goads the guileless initiative needed to enact Initiation (whoop and dig into frisky, risky beginnings). I click my heels and swing the tassels that adorn the horns popping-out of my Aries brow. Aries is linked at the hip with Mars, Roman god of war; Mars says we feel thy selves when others respond to us -- let the Impact of Self Festivities begin. Impulses, instincts and impetuosity are the name of the Aries Game. Miss Luna is new in the Ram on the 4th; oh the feistiness she'll stir with her wicked swizzle stick (break free while singing Born Free). Mars and Jupiter embrace, intoxicatingly, on the 5th. Taurus is the flavor of this swaying, staggering embrace; identifying and sating the nature of new appetites requires ample taste tests. Madame Venus sambas into Aries on the 6th - brazenness beseeches you in relationship dynamics. On the 12th, plotting and scheming Mercury finally moves (impishly) into Aries after dragging-out his trip through Pisces via an absurd retrograde cycle in March; tongue-lashings add spice to life and crude candidness is refreshing. On the 15th, Mars embraces authoritarian Big Daddy Saturn, rendering either a Police State state of affairs or a good, brisk rebellion-fest (or why not both?). Taurus is the flavor of this conjunction and the Bull doesn't like to be pushed around. Miss Luna reaches full moony positioning on the 18th while in diplomatic Libra - relationship "issues", private and professional, climax. On the 19th, we lope into Taurus while Mars and Uranus rumble; the tension is gorgeous - slack hides and chortles; self-will is apt to run amok while Mercury and power-hitting Pluto simultaneously encourage compulsions of World Domination. Mercury and Madame Venus frolic into the Bull over the weekend of the 29th; indulge in the sensualist side of life; don't let anyone push you around.
 Aries Make an impact. Strut, swagger, mesmerize, outrage, get those eyebrows a' rising. The world is in need of an upset and Rams are assigned the titillating tasks of roughing-up complacency and disheveling the flaccid hair-dos of decadence. Your independence, autonomy and motion are emphasized - and so you're severing a couple of anchors from your life. Mercury finally drags his ass out of Pisces on the 12th; you'll expend half of your energy in cleaning-up endings and half your energy in fresh beginnings until Mercury kicks into Aries. You'll fight for your worth and prove that you're a force to be reckoned with. Your planetary ruler, marauding Mars is trotting through determined Taurus - use his energy for brawny and bodacious forbearance. |
 Taurus You experience heightened vulnerability and sensitivity. Maybe you feel as if you have a bull's eye on your chest or back. Every freak within a five-mile radius is drawn to you. You'll periodically feel compelled to escape from the Scene; at the same time you'll periodically feel as if the Scene is slipping through your fingers. You'll sometimes feel alone, even when you are with others - your greatest feat is to ask for help. As of the 20th, your cycle of strange retreat comes to a close, prompting you to pounce into the world with all your profound changes (and without whatever fear you have shed in order to pounce more fiercely into the Scene). Slay die-hard endings; fight for new beginnings. |
 Gemini Your leadership abilities are anxious to express themselves. You are the leader of your pack - swagger with authority. You're versatile, so take many bulls by the horns; ride situations that are broncos that need to be tamed. You'll bite off more than you can chew while so much new stimulation beckons your attention and presence. Kindred ilksters are helpful in gaining entry onto a path of passion. Tasty new relationships draw you into all sorts of fresh scenes and activities. You've also got some intrigue going on behind the scenes; secrets and escapades and skirmishes and maneuvers are enticing. At the end of the month, something's got to give; I wonder what or who will get the axe? |
 Cancer You are at the height of your influence. Achievement is the name of the game and your responsibilities are greater in quantity or greater in size (or why not both?). The upside of packing so much influence is that you can ultimately achieve world domination while you are attracting more cooperation than aggravation. The downside of your stint of influence is that you can't please all the people all the time - someone is going to get bent out of shape. Aries is surly, unruly and battlesome; there is nothing like a few good spars to exercise your potential and your passion; you'll earn a contender belt; you'll merit adoration. After the 20th, connections are sacred and constructive. |
 Leo You have the power of Guru. Your powers of persuasion and charisma are so downright dangerous that you could easily start a cult or bend the most durable of trends. You exude a scandalous vibration and so you've got everyone's attention. At least one annoying opponent wants to test the strength of your prestige and the brawn of your power. Worthy opponents sharpen your competitive edges. New relationships complicate old relationships; you're caught in between loyalty to the past and luscious passion triggered in the present. New & improved, hard-earned truths beckon to be exercised after the 20th. New careering ambiances beseech your new & improved (& potent!) public persona, authority and integrity. |
 Virgo Through the 20th, your underworld is accentuated. Life is heavy and extreme. Superficialities are ridiculous. Artificialities are laughable. People who get under your skin the most provoke fight or flight responses; Ares, Greek god of war smirks, winks and endorses fight (strain makes strength - wink!). Drop-kick pettiness and frivolity. Confront your greatest fear and consequently eliminate its limiting effect in your life - bite the bullet, indulge in a few primal screams and remember that what doesn't destroy you only makes you stronger. As of the 20th, you make a wicked come back and you're wearing a contender belt after wrestling with others and with your own soul. Whistle something victorious. |
 Libra Relationships are a battlefield. The question is who are your allies and who are your enemies? Role reversals keep you on your toes. Libra is the diplomat of the zodiac; you are usually stuck in the middle of messes between people. However, this month you are pinched to one side or the other or out of the whole mess entirely. You throw a couple of situations off balance; sometimes a bit of chaos can be necessary and refreshing - particularly when you are taken for granted. You've got that touch of mink: wear a tiara, bat the eyes and roll some heads. After the 20th, the radical cores of relationships are riveting; roll up your velveteen sleeves and dig deep (and maybe even get dirty). |
 Scorpio Your situations are so demanding and hyperactive that you'll probably be grasping at more caffeinated beverages (and other stimulants). Overtime, overdrive and overkill prevail. The people who get under your skin the most are inclined to misbehave, adding more high-maintenance pressure to your life. Pesky boundary issues are your biggest bane - you'll have to draw the line many times. Take care of your health; too many heroic acts can wear you down. Our jaunt through Aries endows you with that non-squeamish Scorpionic ability to destroy the old in order to ultimately rise from your own ashes anew. As of the 20th, the flavor of Taurus beckons construction - make something out of nothing. |
 Sagittarius After wading out of the muck of March, your heart enlarges and your passion pulsates anew. The untamed portions of your self are eager for exploration and expression and so the cosmos urges you to quest and carouse (heartily, heartily). Indulge in theater and exhibitionism while your audiences are hot for your presence. You've got a lot a lot to give - don love beads and spread yourself around. Romantic potentials abound, but those who get too attached to you can cause you to cringe and flee. Be free. Our jaunt into Taurus on the 19th emphasizes the passion of fashioning your life. Bureaucracy can feel as if you are moving and shaking through a Kafka novel. |
 Capricorn You are on a threshold between endings and beginnings. The endings are probably die-hard in nature, so persistence, determination and consistency are your best weapons to "get it over with already." Sometimes, you'll need to hibernate and regenerate while people, places and situations have a way of infiltrating your usually tough armor. Your private self is lynching your public persona; your public persona is elbowing your private self; fits of fretting occasionally jab, bob and weave (and chortle). Until the 20th, it is difficult to feel fulfilled - indulge in ample sighs and eye-rolls. As of the 20th, your power pulsates anew; frustration becomes ancient history. |
 Aquarius Reach out and shock someone. You've got a nose for news and the more sensational the news, the more apt you are to trip across it and relay it to others. Your ears burn and your telephone explodes. Your decisions startle a few people, as well. The season of fiery Aries accentuates communication, messages, information and risky decisions in Life of Aquarius. You won't want to stagnate in situations that aren't going anywhere (no matter how safe they've come to feel) - gathering information, and lots of it, assists you in delineating new paths that are eager for the tread of your soul. Explore. Climb any freaking mountain. After the 20th, you break new ground and build beautiful architecture around where you hang your hat. The external provides evidence of your self re-creation. |
 Pisces The oddest thing about desire is that sometimes we find someone or something that we lust quite by mistake. There have been occasions in my life wherein I have met someone or something tasty while I was wantonly muttering expletives about someone or something else that didn't pan out. Your desire is an eager tidal wave this month and you could very well collide with someone or something that you lust while trying to get your hands on someone or something else. How ironic. April is like a taste test for Pisces - you have an appetite and you'll know what you are hungry for once you find it or collide with it. Drop-kick your most morbid self-fulfilling prophecy. Periodically fly by the seat of your panties after the 20th - questing too much comfort leads to stale complacency. |